At Fax Machine Revivalists Inc., your privacy is sacrosanct. That said, here’s what we may or may not do with your data (which we define as: smudged documents, marginalia, pigeon behaviour patterns, and the frequency of your paper jams):
- Data Collection: We only collect data that is hand-delivered, faxed from a recognised machine, or sensed via ambient toner particles.
- Cookies: We don’t use cookies, but if you bring biscuits to our office, we will eat them and possibly interpret them as a sign.
- Third Parties: We occasionally whisper your data to third parties via rotary phone. These third parties include: The Order of the Ringing Tone, Pigeon Council Beta Group, and Susan in Accounts.
- Storage: All personal data is stored in a locked filing cabinet beneath a haunted printer in the break room.
- Consent: By sending us anything — a fax, a letter, or your lingering attention — you consent to being included in our annual Smudge Census.
You may withdraw consent at any time by shouting “UNSUBSCRIBE” into an unplugged landline between 2:00–4:00 a.m. GMT on a Tuesday.