Welcome to Fax Machine Revivalists Inc. By engaging with our transmissions, visiting our premises (physical or metaphysical), or simply making eye contact with a fax machine in a dream, you agree to the following:
- Binding by Beep: All communications sent via fax are legally binding in spirit, if not in law. Audible handshake tones shall be considered your digital signature.
- Transmission Errors: We are not responsible for lost pages, accidental cover sheet confessions, or emotional damage caused by receiving pages out of order.
- Pigeon-Related Delays: Carrier Pigeon Partnerships (Beta) may be impacted by weather, breadcrumbs, or acts of hawk.
- Onboarding Rituals: All new Transmitters must complete the Initiation Form (Form 4A: Toner Commitment) and observe the Weekly Paper Silence.
- No Refunds, Ever: Payments made in toner, thermal paper, or barter (e.g. dreams, secrets) are non-refundable and spiritually binding.
- Machine Possession Clause: Any fax machine left unattended for more than 72 hours becomes spiritually inhabited and must be cleansed by a licensed Fax Monk.
By continuing to browse this site or look at it for too long without blinking, you also agree to be included in our upcoming ritual audit.